Wednesday, 1 December 2010

A woman with unseasonably sheer tights was feeding pigeons


Gulls in snow from Kevin Boniface on Vimeo.

A woman with unseasonably sheer tights was feeding pigeons from a Jack Fulton Frozen Value carrier bag at 6am.

The woman at the bus stop said the thought it was "niptorious" today.

The three people walking in front of me in a heavy snow shower were in conversation:
"She's dead young. They'd better make sure she doesn't get fucking pregnant”
the thin white girl with the scraped back pony tail and skinny jeans said.
"I know!” said the others
"I need a fucking car!” said the thin white girl.
"I can get you one for £135. It's alright; it's got a nice CD player or I can sort you out a USB if you want.” said the Asian boy with the saggy jeans and the quilted jacket.
"I don't care as long as it goes, I've got to be in fucking town for half-one"
"It should be £200 but I'll sort it for you for £135 if you definitely want it. Do you definitely want it?”
"Of course I fucking do! I've got to be in fucking town, haven't I?”
"Ok" said the Asian boy "I'll bring it you round later".
The third member of the group, the thin black girl with the cerise pink dressing gown and the Ugg boots didn't say anything, she just walked along with her arms folded.

I suggested to a woman who was clearing her path in a blizzard that it must be a bit like painting the Forth bridge. She said she didn't know.

A skinny Irishman in his fifties with a roll-up, a greasy ducktail and a disobedient sheltie sang as he passed me, "Postman, postman don't be slow, be like Elvis, go man go!” then he stopped, turned, and asked “Did you like that?”

A young man in a hooded top and an Alfa Romeo 147 was struggling to get any traction in the snow on Mill Street. Fortunately two more young men in hooded tops came running over shouting "We'll give you a push, you cunt!" and they did, right to the top of the hill.

Just then, a middle aged woman in a fleece jacket and a Lodge's Pharmacy van with Celebrity Slim Weight Loss Programme/Program* written on it came around the corner at the bottom of Mill Street and also started to struggle up the hill. This time the two young men in hooded tops shouted to the thin white girl with the skinny jeans and the thin black girl with the cerise pink dressing gown who had appeared at the bottom of the street, "You two can push her!" and they walked away.


*Both spellings featured in the livery of the van