Thursday 30 December 2021

Your highlights of 2021

Listening to speakerphone hip-hop

Kneeling on a crushed wine box to stack penne on the bottom shelf

Riding your e-bike along the country lanes in determined silence and lycra

Singing the Brentford Nylons advert at 6am

Remembering Steve Walton who used to work here: You know, his missus wore glasses

Painting rocks in the colours of the Indian flag

Loading a six foot long model of a gunboat onto a trailer, attaching it to your mobility scooter and driving around the estate because you like it to go out every now and again

Singing Ee bah gum can your belly touch your bum on the roof of the pub where Jill and Alan are welcoming new customers...

Wednesday 14 July 2021

Transit: five minute interval walk

A white, long wheelbase, high top, 15 plate Ford Transit van with Modern Handling Services Ltd livery in a bold red sans serif. Parked, two wheels on the pavement, two in the road (Heaton Road).


Green white and red vinyl banner approx 6’x1½’. Attached to park railings in Park Drive South with fourteen black cable ties through small brass eyelets. It reads “Learn to play croquet in Huddersfield” in a bold white sans serif, with details of courses and contact email address in smaller red text underneath.


The midges illuminated by the low sun appear as tiny airborne pin pricks of light. The four sided Victorian glass lamp on the park gates also appears to be illuminated but this is also a trick of the light from the low sun.


The trees on Castlegate Loop include cypress, common lime, some kind of large willow. From my position on the New North Road side of the flyover only the canopy is visible above the blue railings.


The slightly splay footed gait of the man walking ten metres in front of me on Southgate. He is wearing blue Nike trainers, a black North Face backpack, shorts, t-shirt, baseball cap — black. He is drinking from a cardboard carton with a short straw.


A white, long wheelbase, high top, 17 plate Ford Transit van. No livery. A set of long ladders on the roof. Parked in the yard at York House next to the small rotten wooden window with leaf pattern textured glass (Pilkington ‘Autumn’ design?) and an unusual bespoke iron grill.