Friday 13 August 2010

At the newsagent's, Christine was on the till...



At the newsagent’s, Christine is on the till. She nods at the pile of Examiners on the counter and says “There’s a new murder every day, isn’t there? It’s like a new craze or something”. “A craze?" I say. “Yeh, you know, like a new craze from America. Like skateboarding.” “Yes”, I say. “Do you remember that craze for blokes hanging themselves not so long back?” says Christine. “No?” “Yes, a bit back, about six months, a year back. Between me and my ex-husband, we knew half a dozen blokes who hung themselves in the space of about three months.” “Seriously?” “Two of them were on our paper-rounds” says Christine. “Blimey! I wonder what brought that on?” “I don’t know. Do you remember him who built our steps? He was one, hung himself.” “Really? That’s terrible” I say. “I know, and the thing is everyone’s always going on about them steps; the top one’s too short. People are always tripping over it and then they come in here and say ‘Whoever did them steps wants shooting!’ What am I supposed to say to that now?”