Sunday, 3 October 2010

A young man wearing a yellow vest, faded red boxer shorts and fluffy yellow slippers...

Green sign from Kevin Boniface on Vimeo.

A young man wearing a yellow vest, faded red boxer shorts and fluffy yellow slippers was sat on my neighbour's front step in the rain at 5.30am. Later, I saw a fox on Station Road.

On the bus I overheard a man telling his companion that he’d shat himself in bed after drinking too many turbo diesels in the pub.

Mrs Shaw gave me a bag of home grown tomatoes. She said she's completely self-sufficient as far as tomatoes were concerned.

Dr Groves opened his front door to take his mail. “It’s a reasonable day by the looks of it” he said.

Mr Briggs pulled up to tell me he was off to Oldham today.
He paused, then said “Actually, I tell a lie, I’m off to the office, then to Meltham and then to Oldham. I’m working on the precinct there, it’s a right bastard to park.”
That’s all he said, then he got back into his VW Passat and drove away.

At the Chartered Accountants, a chubby white male Chartered Accountant with brown plastic rimmed glasses, a white shirt and a grey suit was talking to a slim white female Chartered Accountant in a white shirt and a slightly lighter grey suit — with a fine check.
“Did you get through Chapeltown all right yesterday?” asked the man.
I know! I didn’t see a single white face!” said the woman biting her lip.
“I bet you didn’t want to stop at the lights did you?”
No” said the woman, “I pushed my door-locks down!” She mimed twisting around and pushing down the door lock. “Absolutely terrifying” she said.

Mrs Gaunt waved to me from her first floor window with a tenon saw in her hand.

Places I saw the Cross of St George today:
1. Painted across the bonnet of a white baker’s van.
2. On a flag flying from dead tree in a garden on Vicarage Drive.
3. On a flag flying from the Foresters Arms pub.
4. Painted on a drain cover by the back door of a house on Elizabeth Road.
5. On a flag flying from what used to be The Green Cross real ale pub but is now a ‘sex encounter’ club with blacked out windows and plans for a sauna.