Tuesday, 15 February 2011


WOMAN IN HER FORTIES: I’m not gonna be in tomorrow, I’m going to a concert.
MAN IN HIS FIFTIES: What concert are you going to?
WOMAN: Shaky
MAN: Shaky? What’s Shaky?
WOMAN: (exasperated). Shakin’ Stevens! I were that exhausted after Bad Manners I booked the day off this time.
MAN: Shakin' Stevens, I had one of his LPs I think. I think it were rubbish. Did he sing Green Door?
MAN: It were rubbish that
WOMAN: Well I won’t be in anyway.

Mr Haigh has stuck some large COME ON ENGLAND stickers on his wheely bins (his normal one and his recycling one). The builder working on his new porch was singing the Simply Red song, For Your Babies very loudly. He broke off briefly to say "Alright pal" without looking up as I walked down the garden path.

A woman stopped me in the street to tell me she could smell toast. I couldn’t, but for some reason I told her that I could and that it was making me feel hungry and that I couldn’t wait to get home to "fire up the toaster".

At the flats, I got stuck in the lift for half an hour until the engineers came to open the door (see video).

There's been a tangerine in the gutter on Howell Road all week and yesterday I saw two bananas; one in Cote Lane and one in New Hey Road near the roundabout at Mount. This morning I saw a full bunch of bananas in Cote Lane and twenty or so eggs smashed in the gutter of Heaton Road.

The man who sleeps in his car on Thorpe Lane has got a new one, a silver Rover 75.