Tuesday, 15 February 2011


At the bus stop:

WOMAN IN HER FORTIES: I’m not gonna be in tomorrow, I’m going to a concert.
MAN IN HIS FIFTIES: What concert are you going to?
WOMAN: Shaky
MAN: Shaky? What’s Shaky?
WOMAN: (exasperated). Shakin’ Stevens! I was that exhausted after Bad Manners I booked the day off this time.
MAN: Shakin' Stevens? I had one of his LPs I think. I think it were rubbish. Did he sing Green Door?
MAN: It were rubbish that.
WOMAN: Well I won’t be in anyway.

Mr Haigh has stuck some large COME ON ENGLAND stickers on his wheelie bins (his normal one and his recycling one). 

The builder working on his new porch was singing the Simply Red song, For Your Babies very loudly. He broke off briefly to say “Alright, pal" without looking up as I walked down the garden path.

A woman stopped me in the street to tell me she could smell toast.

At the flats, I got stuck in the lift for half an hour until the engineers came to open the door (see video).

There's been a tangerine in the gutter on Bradford Road all week and yesterday I saw two bananas, one in Cote Lane and one in New Hey Road near the roundabout at Mount. This morning I saw a full bunch of bananas in Cote Lane and 20 or so eggs smashed in the gutter of Heaton Road.

The man who sleeps in his car on Mucky Lane has got a new one, a silver Rover 75.